Helping your choleric child grow in holiness

 

Today I’m taking a break from talking about my book to return to the new project I’ve talked about a little before–making a spiritual growth plan for children of each temperament. First I’ll give a little overview of the four classic temperaments, tell you a little more about this project, then delve in deeper to help you with your choleric children. At the bottom you’ll find a special download to help you.

 

What are the four temperaments?

The four classic temperaments are choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic, and sanguine. Catholic philosophers adpoted them from the Greeks. There are several good sources for learning about the temperaments from a Catholic perspective. Art and Laraine Bennett have written several books on the temperaments. Fr. Conrad Hock’s treatment of the temperaments can be read online. Traditional books on spiritual direction usually address the temperaments as well.

To figure out which temperament you have, ask yourself two questions:

• Are my initial reactions to stimuli intense or dull?
• Do my impressions last or do they quickly fade?

Intense & lasting=choleric
Intense & fading=sanguine
Dull but lasting=melancholic
Dull and fading=phlegmatic


Continue reading at Contemplative Homeschool.

Becoming your children's spiritual director

Have you ever thought of having a spiritual director for your kids or grandkids? Have you ever thought of being one? It’s not enough to teach children “religion”–i.e., Catechism. We also need to teach them how to become saints.

I am developing a spiritual growth plan for my three older children. (J is a little too young at age three!) Here are the areas I am considering:

Temperament

D is almost purely choleric, M is melancholic-phlegmatic, and C is primarily phlegmatic. (I haven’t completely figured him out yet–he’s eight and doesn’t know himself as well as the others do.)

Each of the four classical temperaments has a different perspective on life. Each has typical strengths and weaknesses. I seek to encourage my boys in their strengths and help them fight their weaknesses. I plan to do much of this through reading. Books will inspire them where lectures won’t.

Talents and interests

Temperament is only one part of personality. Each child has unique talents. For example, cholerics are bursting with energy, but one may be good at football and another at track.

Quiet and reserved M has a surprising acting ability.

How can my children use their gifts to glorify God? How can their talents help them choose a vocation and a career?


Continue reading at Contemplative Homeschool.

Sing the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary with children

 



Back in Advent, Dan and I sang The Angel Gabriel from Heaven Came as part of our Evening Prayer. It struck me how perfect this hymn was for teaching children about the Annunciation. I conceived the idea (yes, that’s a pun) of teaching children the meaning of the mysteries of the Rosary through song. Here it was I came up with for the Joyful Mysteries.

My primary goal in our Contemplative Homeschool is to teach our children how to grow in union with God. Christian meditation is a vital part of that process, teaching all of us to listen to God’s voice in the Scriptures, and to ponder His character in order to love Him better.

The Rosary provides a bridge between the vocal prayers we learn as children and more mature mental prayer. Through the Rosary, we meditate on the most important mysteries of our faith.
Many people have created ways to share the Rosary with children. In Singing the Rosary, I have the following goals:

• leading children to see the Rosary as a means of meditation, so they are not just trying to concentrate on the words of the vocal prayers
• teaching them in detail about each of the mysteries, so they have plenty to meditate on
• limiting the number of prayer repetitions until they understand what the Rosary is for

Continue reading at Contemplative Homeschool.

Create a guided Christian meditation for kids, step by step

David and Goliath from the Breviari di Marti, 14th-15th century
(photo credit: Wikipedia).

 
I’ve had a lot of requests lately, especially since my interview on Carmelite Conversations, for more details on teaching children to pray. So I’ve decided to write a step-by-step post to help you create these meditations for your children or students.

I will walk you through a meditation I created for my boys. We’ll use the story of David and Goliath as a basis for this meditation, because everyone is familiar with it.

You can write a meditation for your kids without first praying over the Scripture passage yourself. I was making a Bible-based curriculum for the boys for a few years before I realized how akin it was to Christian meditation. At that point, I tried meditating on the Scripture passage first. What happened?

The lesson became more personal. I was more excited about it. My kids and I were then focusing on the same things in our spiritual lives. How cool is that? I taught with more enthusiasm and gained a deeper connection with them.

 

Step 1: Read and Meditate on the story yourself

So, find a Bible and read I Kings 17. This is a long story, so I encourage you to read it outside your prayer time. You don’t want to spend all your time with God reading. You want to spend your time in conversation with Him.

Then set aside about thirty minutes for prayer, alone in a quiet place where no one will interrupt you. Place yourself in God’s presence. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your meditation.


Read the rest at  Contemplative Homeschool.

10 ways dads can help their children grow in holiness

Today is my dad’s 75th birthday. I’ve been thinking about my relationship with him a lot lately, especially while writing a chapter on fathers in my upcoming book, Trusting God with St. Therese. Louis Martin was St. Therese’s prime example of God’s character. God made all human fathers to be mediators between Himself and their children. Fathers are the priests of their family.
Here are 10 ways dads can help their children grow in holiness.

1. Practice authoritative parenting.
   Authoritative dads are firm, but affectionate. They discipline when their kids break the rules. They show mercy when their kids are repentant. They kiss owies when moms aren’t available.
2. Love and respect your wife.
   Fathers represent God in their families. Mothers represent the Church. Lay down your life for your wife. Tell her you love her often–in front of the kids. Never tolerate a child’s disrespect for her.
3. Be humble.
   Don’t pretend you have all the answers. Any kid above 10 knows it isn’t true. Admit your mistakes. Apologize. Take your whole family to Confession.

Read the rest at Contemplative Homeschool.

Advent activites for your family

D lights the first Advent candle a few years ago.

Advent is here and with it our six-week break from homeschooling. Instead of doing school work, we do an activity each day preparing for Christmas. Some are distinctly religious. Others are not. Here are some ideas for activities you can do with your family.

Learn and sing Advent hymns 

Sunday at Mass, D was amazed that I knew many of the verses of O Come, O Come, Emanuel by heart. Well, that was the only Advent hymn I learned in Catholic school, and I don’t recall singing any other one at Mass in the 70s and 80s. It wasn’t until I started praying the Divine Office as an adult that I learned some of the beautiful hymns I had been missing. Here are some you will want to learn along with your kids, if you don’t know them already:

• People, Look East. This song by poet Eleanor Farjeon helps you to see all the preparations for Christmas–including setting a merry  table–as preparations for Christ. This is a good one to start your Advent.
• Wake, Awake, the Night is Dying
• Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus
• O Come, O Come Emanuel.  Sing this one beginning December 17, when the Church prays the O Antiphons.
• Behold, a Rose of Judah. My personal favorite for Advent, save this one for the last week or two before Christmas.

Read the rest of the ideas at Contemplative Homeschool.

If God is willing...

" Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and get gain'; whereas you do not know about tomorrow. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that'" (James 4:13-15).

This passage from James the Apostle can almost seem silly. Should we really preface every statement of intent with "God willing?" I used to ask myself this question. That changed in the summer of 2002.

 I was a new mom, struggling to adjust to sleepless nights and no time to myself, when it became clear that I would have to return to work. Never in my life had I considered being a working mother. In fact, I'd had many discussions in which I had said, "There is absolutely no way I would work when I had small kids." But circumstances were against me. I had no other choice, if my family were not to starve or otherwise fall apart.

 Eating my words 

Going back to work was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever done. What would people think? Would they call me a hypocrite? Would they think I was a closet feminist?

As I read Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence by Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, I had to face the fact that God’s will–at least His permissive will–could be different from mine on such a major issue. I had to let go of my will. When I did, I found a measure of peace.

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Diary of a Country Mother: a review

Cindy Montanaro is a Secular Carmelite and former homeschooler. She is also the mother of Tim, a boy she and her husband adopted as an infant. Tim had Tourette Syndrome, phobias, and other mental health issues. In 2005 he died tragically. Their story was published recently by Roman Catholic Books. Dairy of a Country Mother--so named by Tim when no one dreamed he was soon to pass away--is a gem to share with any mother this May.

"Five years ago today I picked up my pen and started a year-long journey of prayer, meditation, and writing. I envisioned an extended period of time in which to record, before memory failed me, all the little humorous and profound incidents that made up my son Tim's short life. " So begins this beautiful memoir of a boy who loved people. It is a story of the joy he brought to everyone he met. It is a record of his mother's faith and acceptance. It is an exploration of the meaning of Tim's life, which Cindy generously shares with us. She would probably say her generosity is one lesson she learned from Tim.

A tale of joy, not grief

Diary of a Country Mother: a Year Remembering Tim is not A Grief Observed. It is not a book about how Cindy and her husband and remaining sons struggled to accept Tim's death. Instead, it is the celebration of his life.

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10 Ways to keep your kids Catholic

Watching the events of the last few weeks unfold, I have been struck anew by how many former Catholics there are in the news media. None of them have a clue about what it means to be Catholic. That, coupled with this post at 8 Kids and a Business, got me thinking about how to keep our kids Catholic. I decided to create a list.

Please note: my children are still preteens, so I cannot say, "It worked for us." But I have done some research on the matter, and observed other Catholic families. I've often wondered how my husband and his siblings all remained good Catholics, while some of my siblings did not. I almost left the Church myself in my 20s. I also know that a parent can do everything right, and his children can still choose to leave the Church. We have freewill. This list is not meant for pointing fingers or accusing other parents of failing. It's meant to help those who are raising their kids now and want to do the best they can.

View the list.

 

A couple weeks ago, Pat Archbold started a discussion on boys and "cursing" at the National Catholic Register. I was late in reading the post, but thought that, as a mother of 4 boys, I should address this issue. I firmly believe that the double standard between boys and girls on moral issues has got to go.

Some commenters denied that cursing was a sin. Others said it should be expected of boys until they are civilized by their future wives.  Let's look at this issue rationally, instead of just emotionally. What do the Bible and the Catechism say? What is the example of Christ? Why is this issue important?

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